Between Order and Randomness

Elated

2012-02-17T21:24:00.001+11:00

Wrap My Arms (cover)

2012-02-15T23:50:00.001+11:00

Today.. was just one of those frustrating days..

and when I heard this song on the radio while driving back - it seriously made my day..

My first thought was "YAY!!! Sierra Montana!! You made it!!! Finally!!!"

And to my horror!!!

This is what I found on Youtube :'(

I guess.. the music industry is a difficult path for some to take.. I mean I knew they broke up :s I guess, I just hoped that maybe.. just maybe, they could make it somehow..

Anyways! This is a beautiful song! probably one of my favourites!!! and it will always be - the original that is..

It saddens me that Sierra Montana didn't make it in the end :(

but at the very least..

Brian McFadden will take this song to places Sierra Montana couldn't.

I Know You Know

2012-02-14T23:51:00.001+11:00

Ahhh... Nothing thrills me more than finding a new band :)

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Link to original source

You and Me

2012-02-11T04:57:00.013+11:00

Quoted from: http://dontforgettolive.tumblr.com/post/1329786085

If You Want Me To

2012-02-07T00:33:00.002+11:00

Losing Your Memory

2012-02-01T01:28:00.000+11:00

The Champ

2012-01-15T01:19:00.000+11:00

♥ Nelly :)

This is why

2012-01-14T02:17:00.002+11:00

Better Than I know Myself

2012-01-07T20:27:00.000+11:00

4am

2011-12-31T02:37:00.002+11:00

I have been trying to pick a song to end this year.. but somehow..

I had so much trouble this year..

I feel sometimes.. a big part of me - like my taste in music, I cant seem to fully move on..

I miss bands like Our Lady Peace..

They carried me through some really confusing, emo teenage years..

Lol :)

Back then, songs like these were the "IT" songs.. and now..

I guess times have changed..

Oh well, I guess for one day in the whole year, I'll allow myself to reminisce bout the good ol' days..

I'll admit that I do miss it..

I do miss school, college, church, camps, the friends, my life then and all those I've lost touch with..

I miss the secret late night conversations, and the curfews, the "talks", the sneaking around, and all the times we got caught..

Tonight

I'll admit, I miss being young and wild and free..

Tomorrow..

I'll grow up

Heartbeat

2011-12-17T21:43:00.000+11:00

Just Another Man

2011-11-15T21:57:00.002+11:00

Just Another Man by Tim be Told

She's only twelve and sells for thirty dollars
And that man is old enough to be her father
He holds her down while darkness takes her over
And he steals her soul

On a concrete floor she lays her head
She doesn't dream 'cause she's already dead
While the kings and queens in their feather beds sleep so soundly

All the world's a hole and I am falling
Too deaf to hear her calling
I wish that I could set her free but I'm just another man
There's nothing I can do

He's only five; A child and a soldier
They will make him kill his people when he's older
And late at night he calls out for his mother
But he took her life

He's pretending to be brave instead
But his family's already dead
I cover up my ears and I turn my head
While he screams so loudly

My heart is open but my hands are hiding
Afraid I'll feel you dying
I wish that I could touch your soul but I'm just another man
There's nothing I can do

Father, hear our broken cries from a world so fallen!
Help us see that in one Man our hope will never die
And His people call Him Savior Jesus, Love Abounding
Give me strength to do all that I can
I am not just another man

Up to the Mountain

2011-10-08T14:20:00.002+11:00

Good to You

2011-09-11T19:36:00.000+10:00

Gotta Have You

2011-08-28T21:24:00.003+10:00

You know how when you watch reruns of old tv shows and you revisit a song that you couldn't get out of your head years ago and then forgot about it once the phase has passed...

well, that is how this song is for me...

and listening to it again brings back some good ol' memories...

I miss Sydney.. my tiny room in Darlington.

Can't wait to go back there in December :D

All Your Life

2011-08-27T12:55:00.000+10:00

I'm Gonna Love You Through It

2011-08-19T00:07:00.002+10:00

To my aunt who is still fighting this battle... You are always in my prayers.

God is ABLE.

Loud Music

2011-08-13T03:05:00.001+10:00

Yay! the long awaited music video is out - finally :p

To be honest, when i first heard this song i wasn't too impressed..

but it's funny how some songs grow on u.. and i think this song is one of them...

Or maybe im just getting tired..

It is 3am after all..

Rise Above

2011-07-31T18:37:00.002+10:00

Reeve Carney...

enough said :) :) :)

Best Laid Plans

2011-07-27T01:12:00.003+10:00

It's that time of the term again which I dread - assignments :s

and unlike my uni days where i have the luxury of doing an all-nighter last minute before the due date, and not worrying about the consequences..

now unfortunately that is a luxury i miss.. isn't that ironic?

cuz going to work the next day without enough sleep just...

is not professional...

Anyways, it's not all that bad..

I've downloaded approximately 20+ new albums to keep me company in the last week... so far

*hehe*

oh well,

Enough time wasted here..

i should get back to my project..

*sigh*

Old Fashioned Letters

2011-07-25T00:00:00.000+10:00

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Ps. one of my favourite songs from Jason Reeves

:) Can't wait for his new album.

Helium Hearts

2011-07-12T20:06:00.002+10:00

Despite the crazy day... I am feeling like a happy song today :D

Hope this makes u SMILE too :)

I Was Here

2011-07-08T21:18:00.005+10:00

All That You Are

2011-06-30T23:25:00.000+10:00

Riptide

2011-05-12T22:58:00.000+10:00

ahhhhh... freedom never tasted better..
I've got one month to enjoy it :D

Keep Your Eyes On Me

2011-04-10T09:11:00.001+10:00

This is a tribute to my favourite Sydney band for the last couple years..

Sierra Montana

..You will be missed

Aftermath

2011-03-24T20:56:00.000+11:00

Rain King

2011-02-06T17:40:00.002+11:00

An old song for now.

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'There is somebody I'm longing to see,

I hope that she turns out to be someone to watch over me'

Marry Me

2011-02-04T18:14:00.010+11:00

I still LOVE LOVE LOVE songs like this

and it is sad sometimes cuz sweet songs like this don't come around very often any more

But I live for these moments I think :)

To remind myself, that I am still a romantic at heart.

and I still believe that marriages are arranged in heaven

I wish Train wrote and produced this song earlier...

cuz I definitely would have used it :)

maybe not walking down the isle, cuz I still stand by the song I chose...

but.. I think I will find a place for this song somewhere *haha*

I have 3 weddings (and still counting) to go to this year :D

And I LOVE LOVE LOVE weddings!

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Happy Birthday Daddy!!!!

I love you lots!

You are the best dad I could ask for.

And I miss you all so much :)

Thanks for walking me down the isle 2 years ago :)

I know it must have been hard

...you always told us so

But to be honest, it was just as hard for me to fly.

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Happy Chinese New Year everyone

I wish it felt more festive here in Melbourne.

But because I don't have any time off,

It really doesn't really feel like CNY at all.

:( I miss Sitiawan this Chinese New Year.

.I miss home.

Bleed

2011-01-29T17:52:00.002+11:00

Ours

2011-01-28T20:01:00.010+11:00

Can't Breathe

2011-01-20T19:02:00.001+11:00

.Time.

You would be the most precious this year..

.Stress.Tears.Prayers.

And lots and lots of coffee.

This might be the hardest I EVER have to study in my life.

And yet deep down I know it's no mistake.

I chose this. I fought for this.

And it is a miracle.

...

Yes. Someday I WILL be a Chartered Accountant.

For now...

I think I have to start saying goodbye to my social life.

The Last Day On Earth

2010-12-31T10:27:00.002+11:00

It's gonna be sad to say goodbye to 2010.
2010 has been a great year indeed :)

Lifetime

2010-12-29T14:03:00.000+11:00

Stay the night

2010-11-30T14:14:00.001+11:00

This songs feels like the theme song of my holiday in Nov/December 2011

It has been fun... hectic...
and I feel like I'm not ready to begin my new year...

I'm gonna miss you girls.. u both have been the BEST :)

Life

2010-10-03T12:34:00.010+11:00

*hehe* I found myself missing ancient songs like these...

Niways, belated upload of our Sydney trip this year...

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Our first stop had to be Sydney uni - obviously :p

Still ♥ Sydney uni :)

we even visited my old house :) which i think looks much better now...

and of course our many, many trips to Campos Coffee (I still think- believe-KNOW they make the BESTEST coffees in the world)

And I guess this does summarise what we have done over the weekend...

Lots and lots of Food+ catching up with Friends :)

And..
I found this at Campos... It was part of their decor...
Ironic huh?

Clearwater

2010-09-07T18:17:00.006+10:00

JR Richards - Clearwater

Is this a mystic deep dark spell
or a joke to make us come undone and yell
another blackness tries again
to bend our will behind our backs
and hold us down til' we say

when will this be over when
will we be free in the end
and in the end will the water run clear
and all the cold disappear into clearwater clear
so deep that we can all come clean

is this a madman's time to tell
to sell a fate that burns our eyes from our lives
well I say

when will this be over when
will we be free in the end
and in the end will the water run clear
and all the sad disappear into clearwater clear
so deep that we can all come clean
clearwater clear

so deep that we can all come clean
clearwater clear

so deep that we can all come clean
clearwater clear

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I was the happiest person alive that night i found out that Dishwalla still lives on :)

But then on the other hand i was abit disappointed with myself i didn't discover him sooner... but oh well, better late than never :)

I still remember the first time I ever heard the band that soon became my FAVOURITE band ever - Dishwalla

It was their song angel and devils that captured me i think, though Every little thing soon became THE emo song :) of mine.

and it was one of those days...

where dishwalla was on my playlist...

I REALLY just wanted to hear something new from them so

I googled...

To my surprise (which totally made my day) i discovered JR Richards :) :) :)

I still love singers like these - where their lyrics are so beautifully written and YES he has such a sexy voice *haha*

Here's his first single - A Beautiful End

from his solo album..

Till next time :)

Say Goodbye

2010-08-18T13:30:00.007+10:00

Here With You

2010-07-25T17:41:00.004+10:00

I love this song. but I am not sure why...

It just sounds so...

Happy :p

Anyways,

here's what we've been up to recently...

... Attending 21st parties :p *hehe*

*sigh* I SO SO SO wish I could be 21 again...

But... August is coming around... and I'd be another year older very soon... :S

Love the way you lie

2010-06-28T21:20:00.003+10:00

I used to LOVE Eminem growing up.

Feels nostalgic hearing a decent song from him again.

Must be Rihanna :p

*sigh*

.End of financial year.

...

Extremely Stressful

King of Anything

2010-05-12T22:24:00.002+10:00

Can't wait for her new album :) :) :)

Real updates soon... Promise!!!

Give Me A Sign

2010-04-01T19:47:00.005+11:00

*sigh*

Today, I heard a baby didn't make it a day in this world, due to complications.

Yesterday I witnessed an accident... Driving past, I saw the cyclist lying face down on the floor
A girl, terrified, screaming into her phone

Last week, I found out that the relationship of someone REALLY close me is on the verge, if not already... broken

This song... Sums it all up...

...

It somehow feels like an end.

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And yet, I force myself to fight this doubt.

To have faith!

To hope!

For that baby's family, for that stranger who might not make it today and for that special someone so so so dear to my heart.

Maybe this Easter we all need that sign...

That GOD IS GOOD. And that HIS LOVE NEVER FAILS.

Pyramid

2010-03-30T20:25:00.003+11:00

Oh my gosh!!! I am so kicking myself for not checking this girl out sooner... My sister told me about her the last time i was back in Malaysia - She was introduced to me as the girl whose voice matched Celine Dion... but I came back to Melb and that was that, I forgot about her, and never bothered (My reason was, I didn't believe any one on planet earth could match Celine Dion. I mean, that's impossible right???) and also, didn't have much time to check her voice out...

... Until today...

I watched her duet with Celine...

Though I can't say I wasn't blown away by her performance, but I wasn't convinced... I needed more evidence... She was quite young in that duet then after all...

but then, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Whitney Houston! And Charice Pempengco's performance of 'I have nothing' SERIOUSLY BLEW ME AWAY~!!!!

A must watch if u haven't already! I was left speechless, tearing, emotion filled etc. It's embarrassing!!! but when a song moves u to that extent - It must be something right??? :p

Seriously, even her studio recorded song 'pyramid' just doesn't do her voice justice!!!! She's is CRAZY live~!!! Especially on her 'Note to God' performance on Oprah. I'm really really really really happy the she was discovered! The world needs more talent like her! :D

It Is What It Is

2010-03-11T23:51:00.005+11:00

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Lifehouse~!!!

They are still by far one of my all time favourite bands!

Hope u enjoy my emo song for the week...

Seriously, this week felt soooooo LONG!

I think I NEED a vacation

The Saltwater Room

2010-03-08T13:34:00.005+11:00

Believe it or not, I have NOT checked out Owl City's album!

*sigh* I'm disappointed in myself :S I love Vanilla Twilight...

but somehow there is something so sweet about The Saltwater Room (Old Version)... and I am such a softy :) I think my craving for good music has been satisfied for now... :D

Still chewing on his lyrics...

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I opened my eyes last night and saw you in the low light

Walking down by the bay, on the shore,

Staring up at the planes that aren't there anymore

I was feeling the night grow old and you were looking so cold

Like an introvert,

I drew my over shirt, around my arms and began to shiver violently

Before you happened to look and see the tunnels all around me

Running into the dark, underground

All the subways around create a great sound

To my motion fatigue, farewell

With your ear to a seashell

You can hear the waves in underwater caves

As if you actually were inside a saltwater room

Chorus:

Girl: (Time together is just never quite enough)

Boy: When you and I are alone, I've never felt so at home

Girl: (What will it take to make or break this hint of love?)

Both: We need time, only time

Girl: (When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?)

Boy: If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone

Girl: (So tell me darling do you wish we'd fall in love?)

Both: All the time, all the time.

Can you believe that the crew has gone, and wouldn't let me sign on?

All my islands have sunk in the deep,

So I can hardly relax or even oversleep

I feel as if I were home, some nights, when we count all the ship lights

I guess I'll never know why sparrows love the snow

We'll turn off all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow

(So tell me darling do you wish we'd fall in love)

(All the time)

Chorus:

Girl: (Time together is just never quite enough)

Boy: When you and I are alone, I've never felt so at home

Girl: (What will it take to make or break this hint of love?)

Both: We need time, only time

Girl: (When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?)

Boy: If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?

Girl: (So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?)

Both: All the time, all the time

Girl: (Time together is just never quite enough)

(When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?)

(What will it take to make or break this hint of love?)

(So tell me darling do you wish we'd fall in love)

(All the time)

Encore

2010-03-04T22:00:00.004+11:00

Jason Derulo...

never thought I'd say this but I think his album isn't too bad!

I couldn't decide favourite between Encore or Blind

But I have to admit tho... His lyrics aren't too great... but then again what more could u expect from RnB huh??? :p

I found a new band today - Adelitas Way: Last Stand... I wanted to say I liked them but then they sounded TOO TOO TOO much like Three Doors Down + Chris Daughtry + nearly every alternative band I know...

Unfortunately, originality is a HUGE thing...

Seriously that song sounds EXACTLY like Three Doors Down's: here without you but not even half as good.

So oh well, my craving for good music has yet to be satisfied... :( I am SO angry Imeem got taken over by Myspace... that was my source of finding new music!!! So now I have to search so so so much harder for them...

Ooooo... I just got tickets to see Switchfoot :) :) :)

I know this may sound crazy but since I missed my last chance to see them live in Sydney, I have been dying to see them...

*keke* I am so excited!!! :) :) :)

On an ending note, this is especially for FGA Melbourne people:::

Tho I am not too sure how many readers that would be, but I thought it would be worth a shot :p

But of course EVERYONE else is invited too...

SIGN up for Momentum Camp TOMORROW (5th March)

LAST day for Early Bird Prices!!!!

I kinda really don't want anyone to miss out...

:) :) :)

My Hands

2010-02-07T19:05:00.006+11:00

I wake in the morning

Tired of sleeping
Get in the shower
And my make my bed alone
I put on my make up
Talk into the mirror
Ready for a new day, Without you
And I walk steady on my feet
I talk my voice obeys me

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*Sigh*

I miss my husband... I can't wait to go back and join him in Malaysia...

Highly Strung

2010-01-26T21:23:00.003+11:00

Ok... I know I am not much of a guitarist...

Actually I don't know ANYTHING about guitars...

but after watching the video - I do know for a fact that Orianthi is pretty dang good...

And I think ALL girls should be like THAT!!!

We should be capable enough to do exactly (if not better) than what most guys can do (or claim they can do better)

We shouldn't make excuses and say that's a GUY thing... And that's why we girls won't do it...

Orianthi I reckon is simply awesome not only cuz she plays an electric way better than most guys... (I think even now, electric guitar is known as a guy instrument)

and to make things even better... she did not lose her femininity while doing so... in fact she embraces it - and uses it to her advantage...

It was something I had to learn too...

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Niways, real updates coming soon... I have been working on my new years resolution... and sadly, I can already see January passing me by...

Till then,

Happy Australia Day!!!

Let Me Be Me

2009-12-18T20:49:00.005+11:00

*sigh*

This was my adventure today - and have decided that I absolutely dislike (very close to hating) Camberwell Junction's stupid 6-cross junction (NOTE: it is not a t-junction, not a cross junction but one with 3 roads intersecting: i dont even know what u call that!!)

So this is what happened:

1. I left work on time today and decided that since Darrel is gonna be home quite late and I am in need of some new clothes cuz Christmas is around the corner and I need new clothes for the many Christmas parties we would be attending, and also cuz sadly i had no time to go shopping lately -> Today would be a good day to drop by some of my favourite shops in Camberwell where I can find some cheap stuff my size :) .

2. I parked my car somewhere in the X mark and walked down Burke street.

3. I forgot that shops here closed at 6 SHARP. I arrived 5:45pm :(

4. Didn't manage to get ANYTHING - and hence started my journey back to my car.

5. I got distracted by this AWESOME looking sports car and subconsciously followed the pretty car out of the carpark only to realise that I was NOT exiting my usual exit (where I know the way back home) and by the time I realised it was TOO late (due to the STUPID one way streets EVERYWHERE here in Melbourne)

6. I ended up driving somewhere around the RED BLOTCH - don't ask me where I've been cuz I seriously can't remember.

7. BY some miraculous chance I ended up at the stupid Junction u see in the Picture above and by that time PLEASE note that I have completely lost my bearings and have NO idea where am I.

8. I take my chances and go straight - only realising after 5 mins maybe that I have no idea where I am going. I reach Riversdale STATION and knew for sure that if keep going I am NEVER gonna reach home.

9. Pick up my phone and try to call Darrel.

10. NO ONE ANSWERS - but i keep trying.

11. Decides that I have to make u-turn. Found out that I am on Riversdale Road. Looked around for Road signs - and discovered that I would reach Camberwell and Burke road soon

12. Question - which one would take me home???

13. No answer from Darrel :( NOT HAPPY NYDIA

14. reaches the junction and I take the first left - Thinking to myself: ONE of this 6 roads will lead me home (and I've already tried two)

15. After 5 mins - the road doesn't look familiar. Question: am I on Burke Road or Camberwell??

16. Finds out I am on Camberwell but how do I go home from Camberwell.

17. Thinking to myself: WAIT I think I recognise this church!!! But... hmmmm.. How did I go home the last time...

18. Nydia VERY ANGRY Darrel is STILL not answering his phone!!

19. Crap maybe I should make another U-Turn

20. Go BACK down on Camberwell Road. Darrel calls me back. Apparently he is in a consult - that funny fellow asked me to pull aside and WAIT.

21. Decides that I will not do that. I will try ALL the ROADS - maybe perhaps I'd reach home. After all someone did tell me Melbourne is in squares

22. Took the next left at the Stupid Junction.

23. Thinking: Oooo yea!! I'm on Burke Road. I'm pretty sure I came from here. But... why can't I recognise anything?

24. Give up!! I don't think Burke takes me home!!

25. Makes my 3rd U-turn - I am getting pretty good at making 3 point turns~!

26. Decides I'd take the 2nd left since I came from the first left.

27. 5 mins later makes my 4th U-turn and took the next left

28. and FINALLY!!! After trying ALL 6 roads!!! and making 4 plus U-turns -> I found my way back :S Which strangely enough was Burke Road (I went the opposite direction the other time)

29. Lesson of the Day: Maybe I shouldn't have gone shopping today... Or maybe it is high time I get a GPS or maybe a map in my car - Wait... but what's the use of a map when I don't even know where I am? *Sigh* Dilemma!! - A GPS it is!

30. Reached home and my parents in law asked: 'Nydia, working late today?'

Response??

'Er... Yea + *quirky smile*'

*ish* too embarrassing lar if they knew the truth :p

31. Darrel calls at 9:20pm and asked: 'U reached home babe?'

'NOPE still waiting at the Junction for you to call me back'

*tsk tsk*

Imagine if I waited :)

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*ahhh*

It's hard to stay frustrated for long.

I love Christmas!!! and I love Fridays!!!

Have a great weekend ahead :)

Belle Of The Boulevard

2009-12-13T23:47:00.000+11:00

I LUV LUV LUV Dashboard :)

Think of You Later

2009-12-12T22:08:00.003+11:00

Happy Birthday Nydelene!!!

U are finally 14 years old!! :)

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I found this song while playing Tap tap revenge on Darrel's iphone and i think i fell in love with this band immediately.

Ps. I LOVE that drum set :p haha* it is the cutest!

If You Only Knew

2009-12-08T21:48:00.004+11:00

The reason for this post is kinda random:

I couldn't help but take this picture on my way back from work...

1. I couldn't help but notice this BRIGHT yellow car right in front of me - but what made it really special was that this person was almost TOO proud to be Malaysian cuz there's like this HUGE... No wait... MASSIVE PROTON word right in the middle that u can't help but notice...

2. The number plate:: (zoom in if u must) of this BRIGHT YELLOW PROTON is....

(wait for it)... LAUZY... or maybe he/she meant to spell LOUSY???

But seriously!!! what blows my minds is WHY in the WORLD would ANYONE buy a PROTON in Melbourne??

and if they really LOVE Malaysia THAT much!!! then WHY in the world PAY to have LOUSY as your number plate???

Really??? Is it really necessary???

some people really have too much money!!!!

Fire Bomb

2009-11-26T20:01:00.002+11:00

One of my favourites in her new album :)

I was just checking out Jay Sean's new album and my favourite there has to be War...

I actually wish I had more to update... but nah, not really... Have been playing too many facebook games - Thanks to my younger sisters :(

They got me into this Korean Drama 'You're Beautiful' - I think I was really sceptical when they first BEG (I'm serious) me to watch it :) but now I'm hooked!

I guess I can never resist a film with a great soundtrack!

Time for Miracles

2009-11-03T12:39:00.003+11:00

I always had a fear of the end days - never liked the book of Revelations, never liked movies like these...

But isn't it funny how nearly every culture, nearly every faith knows that this world is temporary and will fade someday...

I just pray I don't live to see this in my life time.

Ps. I'm sorry I don't really like Adam Lambert *guilty* He's talented alright, just not really my tupe :p but this is his music video.

God Only Knows

2009-11-02T10:31:00.008+11:00

I 'discovered' Orianthi yesterday and I knew I had to show someone, anyone 'my GREAT discovery'... I sat Darrel down and he was stunned - I was satisfied :)

I phone my sis half way across Australia - in Perth and I was SO SO SO frustrated she didn't pick up Luke's phone :p I left her a Facebook post informing her of my awesome awesome discovery!!!

She replied this morning describing Orianthi as a Terrar Menerrar and NOW I am satisfied! :D :D :D

I know this is an obsession - but she is SO Good - even for non guitar playing people like me...

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I have always LOVED Santana - cuz not only is he so talented in guitar, but unlike some awesome guitarist like Steve Vai (who because they are so good - they just become weird!) And the stuff they play, I can't even appreciate... I mean I don't know HOW to appreciate... but Santana's different - his work is for anyone who likes music!!! I like technical musicians who can make it sound good too.

So when I found Orianthi, she reminded me SO much of Santana - NOT just because of the style she plays (and the very similar guitar she uses) but it's because she would be what I call an ARTIST! She is so awesome because you don't see it coming!!! I thought she was just a Paris Hilton wanna be, who maybe can sing...

BUT NO!!! She is talented, gorgeous, and absolutely enchanting - cuz of her skills. REALLY.

And best of all, she our home grown GIRL - from Adelaide :) I don't know why I am so proud, I am not even Aussie - but I always thought talent like these came from America!!! So proud to see some talent from this side of the world :)

And to all the men out there! GIRLS can play awesome guitar too!!! *haha*

This video, though not one of my favourite songs on her album Believe but it is this video that got me hooked on her.

My favourite songs would be: God only knows, Feels like home, Untogether, Drive Away, and Believe is pretty good too.

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Btw, I got a day off today - and I woke up at 9 ish - BY MYSELF~~!!! ie. no alarm :) :) :) so proud of my achievement!!!!

Anywhere But Here

2009-10-31T13:33:00.010+11:00

Is this the end of the moment

Or just a beautiful unfolding
Of a love that will never be?
Or maybe be
Everything that I never thought could happen
Or ever come to pass and
I wonder
If maybe
Maybe I could be
All you ever dreamed, cause you are

Beautiful inside
So lovely and I
Cant see why Id do anything without you, you are
And when Im not with you
I know that its true
That Id rather be anywhere but here without you

Is this a natural feeling
Or is it just me bleeding
All my thoughts and dreams
In hope that you will be with me or
Is this a moment to remember
Or just a cold day in December?
I wonder
If maybe
Maybe I could be
All you ever dreamed, cause you are

Beautiful inside
So lovely and I
Can't see why Id do anything without you, you are
And when Im not with you
I know that its true
That Id rather be anywhere but here without you

Is this the end of the moment
Or just a beautiful unfolding
Of a love that will never be
For you and me?

Cause you are
Youre beautiful inside
Youre so lovely and I
Can't see why Id do anything without you, you are
And when Im not with you, I know that its true
That Id rather be anywhere but here without you

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When I first heard this song - I was compelled to write about it - Ever had one of those songs? where it just hits you *haha*

This song brought me back to when I was a teen (I noticed I have been having many of these flashbacks recently - maybe I am going through some sort of mid life crisis *haha*).

Just a bit of history, I think I have always grew up a bit awkward - ie. I was never exactly 'smooth' with guys. It's not that I found it hard to talk to the opposite sex - it was just I was too much of their friend, they never saw me to be more than that. It also doesn't mean that I never had people liking me, it's just I never felt the same way back. And for the ones I liked, I always had a crush on them from afar - I could never bring myself to confess, or let them know. It reached to a point where I seriously thought I would most probably be one of those single career women FOREVER *sigh*

My friends still laugh when they recall me inviting myself to their wedding just because I always told them that I wouldn't be getting married anytime soon. But to be very honest, I said those words out of genuine belief... I mean wouldn't you? When you go through your entire high school life having crushes of boys whom you know for sure would NEVER feel the same way back and then to make matters worst - EVERYONE else around you seems to have no problem at all finding a significant other.

To top that, one of my FIRST critiria in a guy besides the fact that he has to be a christian, older than me (you know the NORMAL stuff), I really wanted a guy who never had a girlfriend before, cuz selfishly I wanted to be the ONLY woman in his life!!! Secretly, I just didn't want to be compared with. I mean I was so noob in this relationship thingy, so naturally I wouldn't want to be with pro right? or so I reasoned that he wouldn't want to be with me either.

And so you could see why TIME mattered alot - cuz the older I grew, the chances of me meeting another noob guy (who, let me stress: meets all my criteria) would get exponentially lower!

I guess as time passed, I was left wondering most of the time - When would it be MY turn?

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This song brought back the same memories as to when I sincerely believed that I could never possibly find that guy whom I love as much as he loves me :)

And yet, miracles do happen.

I still do believe this: that we humans - with a lot of help from God do miraculously find that specially someone SOMEHOW...

For some it happens almost effortlessly, for some it may take longer than usual, for others it may take more than one try...

But we still pick ourselves up, leave our disappointments and fears behind, in hope for better tomorrow...

And out of 6 billion people in this world, two people WILL meet and FIT each other in such a perfect and orchestrated manner that NO ONE can possibly prove to be a coincidence...

And from the very core of my being, I now get it, what my parents meant. NO ONE tell me otherwise, for now I know that I know that I know that marriages are made in HEAVEN.

Ps. picture taken by Jenny Sun - I just crop'd it :)

Someday

2009-10-29T21:00:00.003+11:00

LOVE.HOPE.PEACE

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying "I am the LIGHT of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the LIGHT of LIFE."

John 8:12

SHINE YOUR LIGHT!

Happy

2009-10-26T20:27:00.007+11:00

Most of my favourite videos tell a story. But the ones that make me feel something... They are even better...

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Everyday, on my way to work - I think I will drive past at least 3 schools. And while at the many traffic lights that I stop that, I will see packs of high school students walking to school.

Well lately I somehow found myself being... 'envious' of these high school students... I find it so ironic cuz when I was their age, I couldn't WAIT to grow up and get out of Malaysia. I was SO looking forward to growing up, having freedom that I wonder if I actually appreciated those priceless years...

I remember just a couple years ago, I couldn't even imagine being 21, being a young adult (It suddenly hit me that I am a young adult now - after attending a young adult retreat), I couldn't even imagine NOT ticking the 'student' box when asked for my occupation, I couldn't imagine getting married, couldn't imagine working full time, couldn't imagine so many things... that I am now...

*sigh* I found myself being so envious of their TIME, their care-freeness etc.

It's not that I wanna go back to school again - I mean I can study whenever I want to, technically... But I can't turn back time... and I found myself wishing I was 16 again... Funny huh?

But then... I realised that I spent so much of my teenage life WISHING to grow up faster (I was watching 13 going on 30 again a couple of days ago, and I was so reminded of how I felt when I was thirteen) and now if I were to WASTE my precious young adulthood wishing to be a teen again - then what happens when I am 30, 40, 50??? Will I wish I appreciated being a young adult?

So I have decided that in every season that I go through I will appreciate its own perks... Now, I guess I am happy that I have ALL the time in the world to spend with Darrel (without kids to 'disturb' us *haha*) and I LIKE it ALOT!!! I like having someone to travel around with - just the two of us! I like having a little more disposable income to spoil ourselves with...

And I guess - it is all these perks that made me look forward to being a YOUNG ADULT when I was 16 :)

Thinking About You

2009-10-22T21:10:00.007+11:00

This song seriously grows on you :)

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Anyways, thought I should post up a VERY belated update on my recent trip to Kunming

*Disclaimer: Some pics that I post here are NOT taken by me - because well, even though I do have an amazing camera, we are so lazy, we always use the auto button.

One of the Malaysian vets we met there on our trip (Jesse) however was VERY VERY much more talented and because we shared all the pics after our trip, I think most of the ones posted here are hers! :D

As you can see, Kunming is a REALLY pretty city - it almost is exactly like how u imagine china to be after watching a Chinese movie. It is NOT at all like the major cities ie. Beijing or Shanghai. Here, I got to really experience many of the Chinese minorities' traditions and their culture... and I guess this trip made me somewhat proud of my heritage :)

Anyways, here you still get to see stuff like this...

They have such cute transportation too!!!

These motorcycles are all electric powered!!! Who knew china would be more environmentally friendly :)

So the first day was spent around the little district around our resort -> We visited the local markets...

and we got the shock of our lives when we saw what they actually EAT!

Worms... Insects...

...

...and

DOGS!

*haha* maybe that's why Darrel's vet conference was there???

We also noticed that there were no large stray dogs around... only small strays...

Tsk tsk... I wonder why...

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This is taking too long, I'll upload more next time ya :)

Ooooo... Btw, All these pics are Jesse's - Didn't get to upload any of ours.

All the Right Moves

2009-10-11T22:54:00.001+11:00

AHHHHH!!! LURVE this Song + Video :p

Fire

2009-10-10T16:30:00.003+11:00

I discovered Dead by Sunrise today :) and I LIKE :) :) :)

Their music is really like Linkin Park's but with a darker mix to it.

But then again Chester Bennington is their lead vocalist and song writer...

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Ps. I WILL post pics from my trip to China + Malaysia soon :p

I really really hate waiting for my pictures to transfer and then hate waiting some more for them to be uploaded here...

It seriously takes way too long :(

Who We Are

2009-09-14T02:30:00.002+10:00

Go

2009-09-09T13:06:00.008+10:00

'Get up and GO

Take a chance and be strong

Don't look back just go

Take a breath

Move along'

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I love when I find new albums

Today I found 2 - Howie Day's (of which I can't wait to get) and Boys like girls

A couple of my favourites in this album are Someone like you and Two is better than one

*I know... I have a soft spot for cheesy songs :p

But this this song stood out to me the most,

Maybe cuz...

I've been through something like that and miraculously came out the (what really felt like an endless) tunnel

And I do think this song is inspirational :D

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Isn't it funny how when you are going through something (be it a rough time or it may even be the best time of your life)

and you hear a song that captures your emotions at that exact point

Where it almost seems the artist is putting your every thought and feelings into words and music

...suddenly that songs becomes MORE than just an ordinary song to you

You find yourself listening to it over and over again

Until someday you find another song to replace that phase

But yet,

And at any point in your life when you hear that song again, you'd be transported back in time...

And magically you'd remember your very thought and emotion back then.

I love it :)

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But what I recently experienced was totally different...

I was at a normal Fungus Friday night youth worship and to be very honest I don't think I really remember the last time I have been 'touched' in a youth worship session.

And this is since I can remember which is, back in YC at FGA KL to Powerhouse in Hillsong church.. And it funny cuz usually I get blown away at camps and conferences...

I always thought that Youth meetings are too... ordinary - you know?

Time is limited (where the worship team sings 2 praise songs and 2 worship songs) and then its wrap up time, and on to the program.

But last Friday - something happened.

When the song Came to my rescue started, it felt like my heart was pounding 10 ten times harder...

Suddenly I wasn't being distracted...

and nothing else in the world mattered anymore

But see...

This song is NOT new to me!

I was in Hillsong church for 3 years, and I have sang that song SO many times.

But it was so different cuz for the first time in my life, I'm not singing something that I don't know, something that I haven't experienced yet and I'm just singing by faith...

But this time it's for REAL! I mean I get it!

I CALLED and HE ANSWERED!!!

He CAME to my rescue...

And for the first time, I knew exactly how the song writer felt at that exact point!!!

And I think I have never experienced a song like that before :p

It's funny huh? How God moves :p

I always find myself amazed..

And I actually can't wait for Friday :)

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Anyways,

I can't wait to be HOME!!! :D :D :D

Cavanaugh Park

2009-09-03T10:03:00.009+10:00

Some may not know,

Darrel and I recently adopted another dog...

Introducing...

TROY

Not too graceful huh??

I'm sorry I am so bad at posting pics - it takes so long to upload them!!! but my sisters have been bugging me to put troy's pics up... so here goes...

His nick name is also chewbacca - I think you know why :p

*haha*

but seriously, Troy's cute MOST of the time...

He ran away TWICE though, had to pay a fine of $80 for him both times.

Broke 2 toes before his owner gave him up - I guess he is quite a handful..

But still cute, not very smart but adorable :)

But ya!!! He full on fell asleep like that!!! I couldn't stop laughing!!! and taking pictures of course - seriously!! I didn't know dogs could fall asleep in that position...

How shameless!! :p

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Anyways, here are some of the other things that I have been up to...

This is the amazing camp committee that I was so privilege to work with and organise one of my most amazing fungus/101 youth camp *haha*

I can say that cuz I've only attended 2 :p

But it was such a phenomenal experience!! Really.

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And of course - I went to watch Australia vs Japan!!!!

*haha* I can't believe I'm into soccer now, I actually enjoy it!!! Cuz flash back a couple of years ago, I think I only watched it for David Beckham :p But now, I actually enjoy watching the weekly youth soccer matches :) It's actually exciting.

But anyway, I was disappointed with the Aus vs Jap match!

Can't believe that Japan LOST!!! :(

Oh well...

Sweet Silver Lining

2009-08-29T15:01:00.003+10:00

Im going home,

down-hearted and hoping Im close,

to some new beginning.

I know,

theres a reason for everything that comes and goes.

Chorus:

So many people are looking to me to be strong and to fight

but Im just surviving.

And I may be weak but Im never defeated

and Ill keep believing

in clouds with that sweet silver lining.

Verse 2:

Most days I try

my best to put on a brave face

but inside my bones are cold and my heart breaks

but all the while, somethings keeping me safe and alive

Chorus:

So many people are looking to me to be strong and to fight

but Im just surviving.

And I may be weak but Im never defeated

and Ill keep believing

in clouds with that sweet silver lining.

Bridge:

I wont give up like this,

I will be given strength,

Now that Ive found it,

Oh nothing can take that away

Chorus:

So many people are looking to me to be strong and to fight

but Im just surviving.

And I may be weak but Im never defeated

and Ill keep believing

in clouds with that sweet silver lining.

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I think, this song best describes my whole journey this year thus far...

and for the longest time I REALLY felt like I was just surviving, with my head just above water...

I wouldn't lie, this year, having that FAITH as small as a mastard seed was one of the hardest...

so many times I felt like I was having the same fight with God and myself...

And it felt like I was ALWAYS on the losing end...

I like being in control - I like to plan how exactly my life would turn out...

but this year planning wasn't an option for me

And I had to learn how to REALLY let go...

and the funny thing was, when I really did, everything started changing...

This week has been one of the best weeks I had for a while...

I attended Kidshaper conference - and it was so refreshing

Really.

I feel like I finally completed a small part of the puzzle I have been trying so hard to complete for the past eight months, I feel like I finally GET IT...

That revelation of why I had to go to Sydney, why I came to melbourne, why I am STILL here... and where do I go from here.

This week,

I got my miracle. Not because I deserved of it.

This week,

I feel like I can finally let it go and let God take it from here.

This week,

I was reminded of the part I play in the body of Christ

This week,

I made new friends.

This week,

I feel different.

And above all that,

This week,

I TASTED the goodness of God.

Let Go

2009-08-13T14:25:00.006+10:00

This post is dedicated to my sister :D

See when we were young, we went through our tween POP phase...

She was madly in love with the Moffatts and Hanson

while I grew up with - none other than AARON CARTER!!!

and it is one of those things when u grow up with something -> As in somehow, even though we may have grown out of the POP phase...

I grew to LOVE Rap, Hip hop and R&B and Lydia grew into the Emo Rock and Punk stuff...

But yet our childhood first love still remain...

And I still remember she got so excited when Hanson released their last album - Taking the Walk (2008)...

My gosh was she excited - and to be honest, they weren't even that great anymore... *I mean in comparison to we have today*

And well, we used to have this competition thing to see which of our first loves would last the longest and HECK I was so sure aaron carter would... well, go on and... I would WIN of course :) *haha*

Anyways, this long winded post is dedicated to LYDIA to prove to her that Aaron Carter is still in the running... and I will WIN this bet!! *haha* Eventually :p

And hey! this song really pretty good :p

or maybe I'm biased...

Speak Up

2009-08-03T12:27:00.003+10:00

*I reckon this would be her next hit :p

Wrap My Arms

2009-07-30T12:03:00.002+10:00

When I saw this song FINALLY posted on youtube I could swear my heart stopped a beat!!! but i won't :p

I mean I have been WAITING for someone to post this up for the longest time!!!!

See I first heard this song on the plane for my graduation - and when I hear a GREAT song, I go on this CRAZY hunt for it until I get it - NOT just for myself, but I HAVE to share it!! *haha* what a crazy obsession huh?

The problem was these boys were SO NEW and I couldn't find one ANYWHERE!!!!

BUT YES~~!!!! It's FINALLY out there for the world!!

Sierra Montana is one of my current FAVOURITE bandS!!!

and what is so GREAT about them is they are from SYDNEY!!! :D :D :D

I know it's bad but i'm secretly still a sydneysider at heart *whoops* :D

Cue The Sun

2009-07-21T15:53:00.001+10:00

If I find my way through the darkest of days,
Will I laugh about the things that kept me awake?
But if my greatest fear paints itself so crystal clear,
Will I run away or will I hide?

And if I don't come home tonight,
Just know I tried my best to fight.
Please don't think I plan to lose to the night.
And curse the moon so dull and bright,
My heavy soul can't stand the light.
It burns me straight to the bones, my bones

In the desert sun I watched my nerves come undone.
One by one my strings they tangled into knots.
And ever since that day, deep in Santa Fe.
I've learned to hate myself for giving everything away.

And if I don't come home tonight,
Just know I tried my best to fight.
Please don't think I plan to lose to the night.
And curse the moon so dull and bright,
My heavy soul can't stand the light.
It burns me straight to the bones, my bones

And if I don't come home tonight,
Just know I tried my best to fight.
Please don't think I plan to lose to the night.
And curse the moon so dull and bright,
My heavy soul can't stand the light.
It burns me straight to the bones, my bones

Let It Go

2009-07-09T16:14:00.010+10:00

This camp - was different...

It wasn't what I expected...

It was BETTER

I learnt there were somethings I HAD to let go...

cuz afterall,

God IS in control :)

When She Cries

2009-06-06T14:57:00.011+10:00

I have finally OFFICIALLY GRADUATED!!!

Thanks for the flowers Darrel :)

Ps. You know he is the ONE when he knows + buys your favourite flowers without even asking you about it

My first thank you is to God - as I really couldn't have been able to graduate with my friends if it weren't for Him... He was the one who was ALWAYS there by my side - through all the tears, all the stressful nights, when I didn't know where else to turn to... He was there to hear me when I Desperate, Helpless, and Sad... He was the only one able to help me in my exams and assignments - to give me favour in the eyes of my lecturers... and at times, I am just amazed by how much help I have needed from my savour all these years... I guess I REALLY owe Him my whole degree cuz... Yar, I don't think I am deserving of that Finance Major of mine - somehow, He has ALWAYS helped me pass EVERY Finance unit I have ever done - despite the fact that in my own ability, that is an IMPOSSIBILITY.

Really

He has been there through all the happy times too :) and He made my whole Sydney uni life SUCH an AMAZING experience... I don't think my life would have been the same if it weren't for Him... Till this day... And I think for the rest of my life - My Hillsong Campus experience would always be missed :D

A HUGE thank you to my amazing husband too - who seriously help me through SO MUCH my whole degree... For proof reading all my assignments and for praying with me when I thought I could NOT possibly pass that Finance paper... I don't think I am over exagerating when I tell people that I couldn't have possibly pass some of my units if it weren't for you... You were always there when I had the WORST group mates - u even joined in some of my groups and did parts of my assignments... You were there when I was crying my eyes out thinking I was going to fail my Corporate Finance 1 paper... You were there praying for me when I was studying for my finals through the night... You were there to cook and clean for me when I was stressed out for exams... you were basically there for me through it all... it didn't matter whether we were miles apart, for most of my degree at least - somehow or rather, your help and encouragement and prayers were always very close by...

And last but not least a HUGE thank you to my parents who not only let me study in the University of MY choice. For letting me go despite it being so far away - and for letting me grow up to the person I am today. I know the years you have been sacrificing just to give the BEST to all 6 of us. I appreciate all that you both have sacrificing for us... and I wouldn't be the person I am if it weren't for the both of you - for all the love, the guidance, the prayers and the encouragement.

This degree is for the both of you - for if it weren't for you, I guess I wouldn't be standing in the Great Hall of Sydney Uni wearing that Mortar Hat I have been dreaming about when I was just a little girl...

I love you both HEAPS :) :) :)

Everything's Right

2009-05-12T11:16:00.004+10:00

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Mother's Day was a couple of days ago...

I wanted to write a post for Mother's day but *sigh* we were so busy the whole mother's day weekend...

Better late than never right?

Most of the people I know would always argue that THEY have the best moms in the world... :)

Their moms cook the BEST food, give the BEST advice... etc

Although I do realise that my mom has her own weaknesses

Yet I would also argue that she would win the GREATEST MOM award...

SERIOUSLY!

My mom grew up as the eldest in a family with a majority of girls (like mine)

and she always thought us that GIRLS can do everything a boy can do...

My mom is literary the house doctor, painter, carpenter, electrician, plumber, mechanic,

ie. she pumps the petrol, checks the car, paints the gate, fix the lights, and the pipes etc.

and on TOP of that she does all the 'girly' stuff as well...

she sews, she cuts hair, she COOKS!!!!!

Brought up 6 children!! and still keeps her job!

So yah!

I was brought up in an environment where due to the LACK of boys (which is so unlike darrel's family) we had to help paint the gate, fix the mosquito netting, wash the car, and carry heavy stuff!!!

I feel awfully pampered here in Melbourne cuz there are so MANY boys in this family - i actually can't remember the last time I helped carry the shopping!! it somehow is always the boy's job...

But anyways, a big thank you to my mummy for her constant prayers, her support, love and all the years of encouragement - silently letting us know that you care and you support us in every decision we make... I know you are always a phone call away to lend a listening ear and I could always find comfort in your prayers...

Thank you for setting an example as a God fearing woman, teaching us to trust God and His ways,

Thank you for encouraging us to grow as a FULL person, letting us get our motorcycle licence, letting me learn drums even when it wasn't very lady like at that time :)

I really appreciate all that you and daddy have sacrificed all these years for the 6 of us!!!

I LOVE YOU and have a very Happy belated Mothers Day!!!

Dear God

2009-05-05T13:06:00.001+10:00

Dear God I wrote this letter,

To put my thoughts on paper,

Sometimes life seems like a criminal,

Without a well planned caper

I know Youre the answer,

But I forget the question,

How do I know You love me,

When no one else, seems to care

Ive tried everything I thought,

Might help me understand things,

And it didnt tell me anything,

Or even play my heart strings

So Im writing You this letter,

To wait for Your reply,

I am so tired, of not believing,

Ill give You a try

I dont know, but I got this feeling,

That todays gonna be my turning point,

Everyday I get a little bit closer,

It feels so good to finally be over

I dont know, but I think Im learning,

This type of thing,

Never been my calling card,

Sometimes you just gotta look closer,

Instead of searchin so hard

So when I start to get down,

And the world fills up around me,

And my head starts

Spinnin like a top,

From the way my heart beats pounding

I can look up for a second,

And know that Im alright,

I spent so long, not believing,

Its my turn to fly

I dont know, but I got this feeling,

That todays gonna be my turning point,

Everyday I get a little bit closer,

It feels so good to finally be over

And I dont know, but I think Im learning,

This type of thing, never

Been my calling card,

Sometimes you just gotta look closer,

Instead of searchin so hard

Fair

2009-04-11T14:25:00.004+10:00

Fair - Remy Zero

Yesterday was Good Friday...

Darrel and the boys came over for a gaming session... while I spent the afternoon watching this Japanese Drama series called 'The Liar Game'...

Usually, I don't watch shows like that - cuz well... the movie is exactly as the title describes it to be... and well, I HATE depressing shows like these...

It's about this disgusting game that involves a participant/victim - most of which are carefully chosen who are vulnerable, scared and are in need of money...

The game starts off with the dealer giving each victim 100 million dollars and informs them the rules of the game - they are to steal their opponent's 100 million dollars, if not theirs would be stolen. After 30 days, the dealer would collect their debt of 100 million dollars, and whatever profit (stolen/lied to obtain) would be theirs to keep - but if their money is stolen - they would have to pay in full regardless...

And so the story involves this girl - almost stupidly gullible is what I would describe her as... She purely trust, willingly forgives and sincerely believes that no one in this world is truly evil...

And so as the story unfolds and she is sucked into this evil game...

Most would think, that NO ONE in this world, when in pressure, in debt, alone, scared and faced with such betrayal, deceit and selfishness - would still be able to turn their backs at hatred, revenge and bitterness...

But have the ability to smile in to the eyes of the ones who hurt them... those who mock their pure trust and belief in the goodness of humanity...

and well... with all the goodness within her, the unfailing trust that NO ONE in this world is born truly evil...

she not only chooses to forgive... and to hold nothing against them... but even more - she chooses to help EVERYONE out of their debts... and in turn save them by helping them have hope in mankind...

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I on one hand, have been blessed enough to not personally know anyone who I believe is truly evil...

and YET, surprising enough, I don't think I could EVER look into the eyes of a murderer, someone who has done so much evil - and smile, and truly forgive - NOT even if I wasn't the victim...

I don't think I can believe in the goodness of a 911 terrorist who killed so many innocent lives... or Joseph Kony in particular who abducted all the child soldiers... the one who stole away their childhood and ALL their innocence...

I really don't think I could truly forgive them... Nor do I believe they still have an ounce of goodness within them...

And yet... that's what Easter and Good Friday is all about...

Their sin is NO BIGGER than mine...

I AM ALSO A SINNER...

And still Jesus chose to die for me and for them too...

So what right do I have to say that I don't forgive them?

When He has chosen to forgive me first...

Take Me as I Am

2009-04-07T20:11:00.003+10:00

This time I finally see the

Reason why, I cant do this

Alone, it took some time and concentration,

to believe it, this I know

I need to build my faith sometimes,

but I am so comfortable in line,

I'm up, there's no more time,

To try to mess with this design

Tonight's complete,

Every one's asleep,

And I wanna say these words to you,

Ill be Your hands, take me as I am,

I just wanna be with You

Take me as I am, cause I'm going,

I was too scared to start,

and now I'm too scared to let go

Take me as I am, cause I'm growing,

but its so hard to tell when I'm not used to this so

I lift my voice to sing out,

Let the sound of my heart ring out,

These hands aren't holding me down,

Never again will I be without

I need to build my faith sometimes,

but I am so comfortable in line,

I'm up, there's no more time,

To try to mess with this design

Tonight's complete, Every one's asleep,

And I wanna say these words to you,

Ill be Your hands, take me as I am,

I just wanna be with You

Take me as I am, cause I'm going,

I was too scared to start,

and now I'm too scared to let go

Take me as I am, cause I'm growing,

but its so hard to tell when I'm not used to this so

--------------------------------------------------------------------

*ugh* I really can't wait for their album!!!! :(

Don't u hate it when u find this song of which u are only able to enjoy for 30 seconds and there is NO ONE on the face of this earth who has that song??

*sigh*

I know!! I am a bit too free... I guess there also aren't many people who have the luxury of fretting about such small matters...

Anyways, I'm BACK from Colour...

Of which was SUCH A BLAST!!!

I seriously miss it sometimes - the girl bonding times... :p

Well... Sydney will ALWAYS have this special place in my heart... :)

Now I'm looking forward to going back again for graduation!!! :D

Thanks to everyone who took time out to spend time with Darrel and I...

We felt honoured and so VERY SPECIAL cuz of your hospitality...

and ALTHOUGH there isn't very much hope of convincing the husband to moving to Sydney...

Yet... a girl can always believe in miracles right??

*haha*

*shhhh* Don't let the husband find out... :D :D :D

--------------------------------------------------------------------

oooo... I do have a NEW hobby!!!!

I hate uploading pics from my SLR... :( cuz the files are way too big and my computer is WAY TOO SLOW...

I seriously think the government should give me more than $900...

maybe then I'd be able to afford a new computer...

*haha*

Oh well...

The pics will have to wait...

With Me

2009-03-22T23:58:00.005+11:00

They say we leave this world just the way we came into it...

Naked and Alone...

So...

If we do leave with nothing...

What then is a measure of a life?

Is it defined by the people we choose to love?

Or is life simply measured by our accomplishments?

And what if we fail?

Or never truly loved?

What then?

Can we ever measure up?

Or will the quiet desperation of a life gone wanting,

drive us mad?

- One Tree Hill -

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brooke: I don't know... I feel a little... A little bit like I failed... You know? I am watching all my friends move on with their lives, Haley with their family and Milicent is moving to be with Mouth, and Peyton with Lucas and they are all moving forward... And it's like I'm STUCK here... STANDING STILL...

Already Gone

2009-03-18T00:11:00.008+11:00

Happy Birthday Caleb!!! :D

My one and only brother :)

and here are some random pics from my last trip back to the land with the AWESOME food...

and well of course we MUST also include a not so glamarous picture of the brother...

and although I still had many more... I thought since it's his birthday - I should be nice :D

Sorry this post is late... I really wanted to write sooner... but *sigh*

...never got around to it...

due to what feels like millions of cover letters I've been writing...

and OH! This is BETHel... the only dog I ever knew who had 6 toes on both feet...

Sadly - she died :(

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and SUE KIM! I have finally found your birthday pics :)

I will mail it to you soon!!

Anyways... HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY again Caleb Eddrick Tong!!!

We do LOVE and Miss you alot here :)

You Can't Break a Broken Heart

2009-03-12T03:09:00.002+11:00

You Cant Break A Broken Heart - Kate Voegle

This is my emo song of the week...

See... I am a bit disappointed with what I found today...

For months I have been so excited about Kate Voegle's new album and - in my quest to search for album leaks (I know I am horrible - but I do love it more than anything)

I found this song - and I also found out that Kate Voegle released a deluxe album and it is NOT the album I've been waiting for :(

to be honest!!! I don't get it why artist now a days are coming up with all sorts of ways to squeeze money out of their very-loyal-fans!!!

They release deluxe albums, the remix albums, best compilation albums, The best of albums, the come back albums...

...all they do is add 2 extra songs-4 extra pics-repackage it-rename it and -> POOF! you've got a new album...

but oh well... she's got 4 extra songs there... (of which 3 are acoustic *sigh*) but I thought this one was quite cool... and YEP - due to the disappointment -> this became my emo song of the week... *haha*

I promise the next update will be a more decent one...

I'll even post pictures!!!

PROMISE!

Niways, I got this video today and it made me laugh SO BAD!!!

Enjoy :)

I'm so glad I don't drive THAT badly...

...right??

Five Loaves and Two Fishes

2009-03-07T12:15:00.009+11:00

Five Loaves and Two Fishes - Corrinne May

Corrinne May Five Loaves And Two Fishes

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school

He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look

Thousands were listening to the stories of one man

He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned to night

Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight

The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had

He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus

The kindness in His smile

And the boy cried out

With the trust of a child

He said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes

Do with it as you will

I surrender

Take my fears and my inhibitions

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all to feed them all"

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small

And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands

And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have

Oh Lord, you can work miracles

All that you need is my "Amen"

So take my five loaves and two fishes

Do with it as you will

I surrender

Take my fears and my inhibitions

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all

I hope it's not too small

I trust in you

So take my five loaves and two fishes

Do with it as you will

I surrender

Take my fears and my inhibitions

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all

No gift is too small

-----------------------------------------------------

I recall the first time I heard this song was at The Racha - and only God could have known how much I would need this song to carry me through days like this...

I guess it is so easy to say 'I trust You' this 3 words...

But I am sometimes embarrassed to admit that despite my very long walk with my saviour...

I still find it hard to FULLY surrender - if u know what I mean...

I find it easier to laugh it off - and say it is in God's hands while in a crowd

but when it comes to my ALONE time with Him - It is a whole 'nother story...

I bug Him about it day and night...

-----------------------------------------------------------

I finished another book last night at 4am - A walk to remember

It left me crying and laughing and crying again...

It was NOTHING like movie... the book had so much more spiritual depth to it...

It talks so much more about faith and miracles...

something that I so need at the moment...

-------------------------------------------------------------

and then talking about miracles...

recently with Colour just around the corner - I have been getting a string of emails urging people to register, anticipate and pray for the upcoming women's conference...

and I recall, last year at Colour I specifically refused to sign up for the 2009 conference cuz I had no idea what I'd be doing this year - I mean I was optimistic that I would find a job in no time...

and I thought that, as a new employee, it would be hard to get leave right?

And so fast forward one year, I am left reading all these emails, and reminiscing about Hillsongs - of which I really do miss so much...

I still dream about my Cubby House Kids :)

and wishing that I had actually signed up for Colour cuz well - I am currently VERY FREE :D

One afternoon, I got a call from Hillsongs and the really sweet lady on the other line asked about the Bush fires which hit Victoria recently... she asked if I was affected and if I knew anyone in particular who needed prayer...

and to my surprise she ended the conversation with "I'll see you in Colour!"

At first - I brushed it off assuming it was a mistake... I mean it had to be right? I don't remember signing up for it... (though I secretly wished I had)

And so a couple of days passed - me still getting more emails from Hillsongs... (apparently, my name is still in the Cubby House database and they still want to know if I am available to serve on Sundays 11:30am *haha*)

I was also still bugging God about how much I do miss Hillsongs - and praying that someone would suddenly NOT be available to go to Colour and I miraculously would be able to attend... but who would sell their ticket now right? Colour is ALWAYS sold out... especially this year when it's at the Entertainment Centre... :(

and then one evening, when Darrel's dad came in with the mail - and he informed me that I had one letter from Hillsongs...

I was... well... I felt normal then - cuz I have been getting a whole lot of mail from them...

But much to my surprise... and I so did not see this coming - they sent me a RED ARM BAND for Colour!!!

Seriously, I could feel blood rushing through my head - with my heart starting to beat much faster than usual... I could not believe my eyes... I checked the date - it was conference 1 (the weekend one)

NO!!!! Who did this!!!?!?

I started calling people I knew... First, was Branda - cuz I was placed under her group and I knew it MUST have been her cuz well... who would place me under her group right?

but it wasn't her... and her argument was - 'how in the world would I know your Melbourne address?'

Well good argument point I thought... But then the mystery was still unsolved...

I mean who then would have placed me under Branda's group and also knew my Melbourne address???

and so obviously we came to the conclusion that it had to Darrel!!!

And while waiting for him to come home - I kept thinking...

'wow... my husband is actually SWEET - that he would do something so thoughtful and of course OH-SO-SWEET like this for me - knowing how much I wanted to go for conference... He must have thought I needed it too...'

*smiles to myself*

But to my horror... my husband was even more blur than I was - He thought I was absolutely out of my mind... HECK... he didn't even know WHO Branda was!!!

Cis... and he was even like 'If I DID sign you up... I must have forgotten all about it' *sigh* still trying to take credit for it...

Anyhows, I continued calling people... still trying to find my good Samaritan...

I even called my mom - funny huh?

well... she thought I was finding things to occupy my mind as I was getting too bored...

and yar... Her advice was that I should just enjoy the conference... and start booking the first flight available up to Sydney...

So practical... Very unlike the mom that I know...

But I still itched to find out WHO it was...

Anyways, that night while I was filtering through the mountain of unread Facebook emails, I saw one urgent one from a friend from Sydney asking if I had received my Colour armband...

My mind started going wild... thinking to myself - How in the world could she have known??

so I called her up at 11pm - thankfully she wasn't asleep yet...

and her response was funny...

she was like... 'I remember you told me last year at the recording you signed up for 2009 Colour conference... and that's why I signed up too'

and so I sat back - trying to digest what she had just said...

It couldn't have been... I mean I am a freakin' accountant... I would have recalled if I actually PAID for the ticket myself!!! I mean I ALWAYS know when money goes OUT of my pocket... Heck I always know when money goes out from Darrel's pocket!! :p

and so the mystery is half solved... I vaguely remember being convicted by God to sign up for the 2009 Conference cuz He thought I'd need it...

I guess it is strange - but I don't recall actually signing up for it...

I guess - miracles do happen in funny ways huh?

In this case, I'd like to think that God made me sign up for myself and made me totally forget about it...

Just because - He wanted to surprise me again... and Just because...

He knew I'd need it at such a time like this!!!

Or MAYBE...

(just as that child in me likes to believe) Maybe my good Samaritan really does exist!!

...

and so wooohooo!!!

I'm off to Sydney this end of March!!!

Can't wait to catch up with all you Sydneysiders :)

I have NEVER been more excited!!!

Thinking of You

2009-03-04T15:20:00.004+11:00

Thinking Of You - Katy Perry

This song just seems so appropriate for this book that I have found myself so engrossed in - PS I love you

Yes, some have said - WHY read such a book when u have only been married for less than 3 months...

But I have a theory, I think because we are only human, we often take things for granted... Things/people that we somehow feel that will ALWAYS be ours to have and to hold...

This book reminded me how fleeting our lives are... and if I don't appreciate what is right in front of me now - it maybe taken away from me before I know it...

and then those simple things like...

* having that someone to kiss goodbye to every morning...

* having to fight over who turns off the light at night...

* someone that brings me coffee in the morning...

* someone to wait for to have dinner with...

* that someone that will always let me tag along in parties cuz he knows how awkward I feel at those functions...

* someone who waits with me while I get my health check done...

* someone who drives me to places...

* and go grocery shopping with...

* that someone who knows exactly what to say when I'm being difficult...

I don't ever want to be one of those old married couples who takes everything for granted... the ones who stay together just because of the children - or because of religion or culture...

The ones who are so bored of each other... or the ones who have no passion or laughter left in their relationship...

I want to be a woman with a million happy memories...

one with no regrets when death do us part...

one who is ready to experience more life, more love and make even more new memories...

one who appreciates what is right in front of her...

and is not complacent...

Stuck With Each Other

2009-02-26T13:34:00.006+11:00

Stuck With Each Other - Shontelle ft Akon

Lately, my butt has been itching to get a job ASAP...
I had no idea how much - I CANNOT be one of those 'stay-at-home-wives'...
Not until recently at least...

The idea of it had always seem so much more appealing...
The luxury of waking up at anytime I wanted...
The very limited amount of housework required - cleaning, washing and ironing...
and not forgetting the flexibility to sleep at wee hours in the morning...

BUT to my surprise... I am not enjoying this as much as I thought I would...
I guess it has always been one of those luxuries that I never had...

I mean I always knew I was somewhat career driven...
But I never thought I just couldn't be - no - WOULDN'T be one of those women...

Somehow, people always thought that because I chose to get married early - naturally I'd naturally like to start a family early as well...
*haha* Thankfully, Darrel and I share the same new-generation-selfish-parenting-mentality cuz to my grandparent's disappointment...

I don't think that is going to happen so soon...
We just didn't want to have wrinkles in our wedding pictures that's all...

Cuz yes, I recently found out that I am more career driven than I thought...
It just sucks that my PR documents are taking so much longer to arrive - or maybe that's only normal...

But yar... I guess I don't think people would be that keen on employing a girl who's still on a student visa...

Oh well, I was telling Darrel the other day that - if I reach my limit - I might even be desperate enough to march down to the call centre nearby and beg them to give me job...

*haha*

Back Again

2009-02-21T14:31:00.003+11:00

Back Again - 16 Frames

One week ago, Sue Kim bought me a book - Twilight; as a farewell present...

Darrel was shocked (no... Flabbergasted!) by the present (that I actually chose) - and Sue Kim predicted I would take a year to finish reading it...

Of course I have to admit - it doesn't take a genius to figure out that I... do NOT read much... *haha*

But to Sue Kim:: Thank you so much for the present, and guess what? I ACTUALLY finished reading it within a WEEK!!! *I know!! quite miraculous huh* -> Shows u how free I am!!!

and to the amazement of my beloved husband - who just realised that I actually do read -> I have began my second book of the year 'P.S. I Love You'...

I guess...

I FINALLY have all the time in the world to do the things I never had time for!!!

Love, Save the Empty

2009-02-17T15:25:00.003+11:00

Erin McCarleys "Love Save the Empty" -

On Valentine's day, Darrel and I went on one of those typical 'Valentine's day' dates - which includes watching a movie and then having dinner :p

This year was special though -> cuz believe it or not - we have NEVER celebrated Valentine's day together - cuz... we've ALWAYS been in different continents *haha*

But oh well, we went to watch Marley and Me...

Which was great for both of us - cuz it is a chic flick (great for me) and it includes ANIMALS (great for him)

So this film is like a biography of this young couple - whereby, first they look for a job, then get a house, then a dog... then kids etc.

And it got me thinking about my list of things...

1. Get Married (tick)
2. Get my PR
3. Get a JOB

and ...

4. Get a house!

Yep!! that has been our obsession lately - looking at property...

It is more exciting than I thought it would be... It is almost like this same feeling u get when u shop for ur wedding venue... *haha*

But yar!! Marley and Me got me excited about moving out and living by ourselves... We might even bring cookies along :)

What Would You Say

2009-02-09T14:52:00.003+11:00

Trailer Choir - What Would You Say

what if the moment came and

you knew your life was down to minutes

ladders flame was all you had to see

and you found a pen and torn up piece of paper

and a note was all you could leave

13 men felt trapped in a mine in West Virginia,

only one made it out alive

but there love lives on in the words

I can not wait to see you on the other side

what would you say(x2)

(CHORUS)

in the lines on a page from the life that you made

could you write it with no regrets

would you know in yourself you gave somebody else

all the love that you had inside

right down to your last prayer

would you tell your momma thank you for the way you love me

daddy don't cry everything's gonna be ok

would you tell your little boy that

you'll be watching him from up in heaven,

you'll never miss one game

what would you say(x2)

(CHORUS)

in the lines on a page from the life that you made

could you write it with no regrets

would you know in yourself you gave somebody else

all the love that you had inside

right down to your last prayer

what would you say

(CHORUS)

in the lines on a page from the life that you made

could you write it with no regrets

would you know in yourself you gave somebody else

all the love that you had inside

right down to your last prayer

what if the moment came and

you knew your life was down to minutes

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: So what would I say??

...I keep thinking there is so much I would want to write on that little paper...

纪念

2009-02-05T05:20:00.010+11:00

ji nian - liu jia yue tuan

I don't think I have ever considered myself as an emo person...
But sometimes, I have to admit - I do withdraw from the world...

Yet...
I don't think I have ever let many people see that side of me...
Yet alone out here...

But this time, I thought I should take someone special's advice and let people in...
Just this time :)

I am human after all...

Yesterday was my dad's 52 birthday...
and it hit me today again - I don't have many days left here...

There would be many Birthdays I would miss...
There would be many Christmas's I would miss...
Many Chinese new years...
Many Sports Days...
Many Award ceremonies...
Many Sitiawan Trips...
Many Sundays...
Many swimming nights...
Many school holidays...

I would miss watching most of them growing up...
I would miss watching my parents and grandparents grow older...
I would miss alot of the laughter...
and alot of the dinner conversations...
I would miss alot of mothers' days and fathers' days...

*sigh*
I would miss so much!

When I made my decision to leave Malaysia 3 years ago... I really had no idea the extent of which I would miss... I didn't appreciate the warmth of my family... And I sure don't think I fully comprehended the abundance I have been so blessed with!

When I made that vow before God and before man to leave the familiarity and comfort of home of which I spent my entire life, and to built a new one in a land still foreign to me - It never crossed my mind how difficult it REALLY is - that is 'to leave and to cleave'...

I don't regret that decision...
For I have faith someday - we'll be together again...

But I am jealous!

Jealous of people who have their loved ones close to them and yet take their families for granted, not appreciating them...
Jealous of people who have the time to make amends and yet choose keep hate and wrong doings of families in their hearts...
Jealous of people who get to spend Birthdays and Christmas's with family and yet choose to spend their time elsewhere...
Jealous of people who get to have weekly family dinners and yet miss them - because they choose to hang out with friends instead...
Jealous of people who could have celebrated mothers' days and fathers' days with their parents and yet choose not to...
Jealous of people get to spend time with their siblings everyday - but don't treasure it...

... Jealous of the time they still have left to spend with family and yet not realise how precious and valuable it truly is...

that very limited TIME... which I don't have much left...

City of Angels

2009-02-02T06:50:00.019+11:00

City of Angels - Corrinne May

I can't believe one WHOLE month just flew right past me...

and now I only have 13 more days to go in Malaysia :( and so the countdown begins once again...
It IS a strange feeling with Darrel now back in Melbourne -> whereby I am half way torn in between NOT wanting to leave my family back in Malaysia and yet still looking forward to going back to Melbourne to be with Darrel...

So YAR! I thought I should post up some pics of our honeymoon recently...

The Racha island has to be the MOST BEAUTIFUL place I have EVER been to *ok I was exaggerating a little* -> But HECK! that place was GORGEOUS!!!

Now back at the beaches in Malaysia - I am appalled by the very minimum sense of direction of our fellow Malaysians in finding the nearest dustbin! *sigh*

Anyways, here are some of the unedited pics :D

Check out the MASSIVE difference between Thailand and Malaysia!!

The Racha

Sitiawan

Anyways, I went horseback riding too!!

By which I also FELL OFF the horse! It was so miraculous that I got up without a scratch!

We also went on a ATV sunset tour

Went snorkelling

Touched a puffer fish :)

Made friends with The Racha Staff

and watched some pretty crazy performances put together by some of the 'sports boys' - for their staff party (of which we joined)

And LAST but NOT least...
We ATE!!

We ATE!!!

We ATE some more!!!

and we ATE even more!

*haha*

Btw, Corrinne May is one of my newly discovered-now-all-time-favourite Christian singers in The Racha! -> she's REALLY good :)

Ooooo, the melbourne wedding pics are out!!! :) Do check them out at :: jennysunphotography.blogspot.com

Jenny did such a FANTABULOUS job!!! It was THAT good - till the word fantastic just doesn't describe it enough... :D

Happy Chinese New Year people!!
*Can't believe I have be at the 'giving end' this year!*

Makes me feel so OLD :p

Flightless Bird

2009-01-01T18:53:00.008+11:00

Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Wow!!! I am amazed myself at how fast this year has passed me by...

and on hindsight, 2008 has in no doubt been the BEST YEAR YET :D

In 2008,

I TURNED 21!!!

I FINISHED University and am all ready to GRADUATE!

Darrel celebrated his 25th birthday on 20.08.2008!!!

Darrel also started his FIRST full time job as a qualified VET beginning of the year!

I got ENGAGED on 30.01.2008!!!

and LAST but NOT least, I got MARRIED a couple of days ago...

:D

2008 has been GREAT!!! but I believe the BEST is still yet to come!!!

So HAPPY NEW YEAR again people!!!!

2009 is gonna be even GREATER!!!

:D

Never Gonna Be Alone

2008-12-12T21:03:00.007+11:00

Never Gonna Be Alone - Nickelback

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NYDELENE!!!

You are FINALLY 13 this 12.12.2008!!!

I...

Miss that smile...

Miss that cheekiness...

Miss those 'moments'...

So, wanted to wish u a VERY
Happy Birthday again!!!

U know we all love u right??? :D

Lotsa Love,

The other 'Ny' sister
:D

Camouflage

2008-12-11T21:53:00.008+11:00

Camouflage - Brandy

Firstly I'd like to apologise for the silence... Have been preoccupied with that AMAZING anime 'One Piece' *haha*

and of course with many other wedding prep stuff... :) of which are all coming into place SLOWLY...
I have also OFFICIALLY gotten the green light to get married since I have miraculously FINISHED uni recently!! ie. passed ALL my final semester subjects and am now no longer a student and am officially UNEMPLOYED *haha*

I really can't believe that I am finally a GRADUATE majoring in Accounting and Finance... the accounting part is not that much of a surprise... but the FINANCE part is definitely miraculous... I can't even begin to describe the countless times I was worried and cried over my finance subjects... I still remember the first finance unit that I did - Corporate Finance 1...

The exam was SO HORRIBLE... See, I have NEVER been the smartest student in class... but yet... most of the subjects that I have done in the past, I can safely say that at the very least - I could ATTEMPT the exam questions - by crapping a bit here and there... and although I don't think I have done all that well in those subjects but at least I passed right?

But this was different... I still remember flipping through the paper during the 10 minutes reading time and froze...

All the sub questions were continuous... whereby if u couldn't answer the part (a), then u most probably won't be able to answer part (b) or part (c) or part (d) etc... and I remember the first question I attempted was a Net Present Value question... The problem was none of the given information was enough to answer part (a) and hence I couldn't even continue for the rest of the questions... and obviously at the end when they asked if I would invest in the company (base on the calculated NPV in the various parts of the question) I had absolutely NO idea if the company was undervalued or overvalued!

And this happened for the rest of the paper... as in I literally could not attempt ANY of the questions... It was seriously living my WORST nightmare! and I went home crying thinking that I would fail that subject for sure!

That month - that was my prayer for my miracle offering (it is this thing that Hillsong Church does)... Although I knew (in theory) that all things are possible with God - A big part of me didn't dare to believe it...
I guess I was afraid that it was ME who didn't work hard enough... or maybe I was undeserving of such a miracle... I started creating excuses such as maybe - Finance is not my 'thing' after all...

But now looking back... those excuses were so stupid... YES I am undeserving... YES maybe I did not prepare enough... and YES - Till the end of my degree... I still think that Finance is NOT my 'thing'... but that just makes it even more miraculous right?

So yar... today I can bravely testify that it IS a miracle I have come so far...
No matter what people might say...
as long as I know that it IS a miracle :)

it is enough... :D

Tonight

2008-12-02T16:07:00.004+11:00

Tonight - FM Static

YEP! For the past week or so I have been ADDICTED to this anime 'One Piece'...
I won't be surprised at all if u didn't like the looks of it at first - cuz neither did I... The drawings are UGLY! The cartoon characters looked funny and so kiddish!

PLUS... It's about pirates and they are fighting ALL THE TIME!

But *haha* Darrel sat me down to watch 2 episodes I think - I was SO HOOKED on it since...

Normally, I'd prefer shoujo anime... But this one's different...
I think it is their bravery and courage that attracts me... Cuz I am NOT the most courageous person in this world... to be honest - at times I think I am NOT courageous AT ALL...

Sometimes it is things of which I fear, sometimes it is people and their thoughts... and sometimes it is uncertainty of the future... and sometimes - it is myself...

I LOVE Luffy (who's the main character in this character) in this anime... LOVE how he has that ONE DREAM to be the ultimate pirate king and NO Matter what the world throws at him... no matter how many people are against him... No matter how many obstacles stands in his way... and even if he faces Death itself... HE FIGHTS courageously through it all... and it is SO strange how HE ALWAYS KNOWS he WILL succeed! He WILL NOT give in to death - NOT until he reaches his goal... -> The ultimate TREASURE - 'One Piece'

I mean like everyone... I have a dream... A Passion... A PURPOSE to LIVE this life that I have been given...
But there ARE days...

Due to the uncertainty of the world, the obstacles, the storms and the waves of life...
where I FORGET... I DOUBT and I FEAR...
I crawl in this little shell of mine and give in... blaming on the fact that I was NOT born strong or brave enough...

But I LOVE it how in this story - it shows how Luffy's NAKAMA is always there to help him out when he can't help himself (well... although he IS bless with strength and courage - he sure is NOT the brightest one of them all) :p
And in turn He is ALWAYS there for them...

That's why we need GREAT Nakama's around huh?
I am sure GLAD to be bless with ONE GREAT BIG STRONG Nakama :D *keke* and many other Nakama's to watch my back too :)

Hold The Door

2008-11-29T22:17:00.007+11:00

Hold The Door - Armor For Sleep

Today we attended a BEAUTIFUL couple's wedding...

Everything about the ceremony and reception was beautiful...

Congrats again Mr and Mrs Mike Larion :)

and it hit me TODAY...

That in EXACTLY ONE MONTH...

We'll be Mr and Mrs Darrel Yap :)

You Found Me

2008-11-28T16:13:00.009+11:00

Britney's new album is out -> of which I have to admit that it is quite a big comeback! I personally NEVER thought she'd be able to it...

The album itself is not that impressive though... Quite similar style throughout... but oh well! I applaud her for trying :p

Favourite from the album is 'out from under' - and yet... :S *ugh*

THE FRAY's new single is out too :) :) :) Can't wait for their album!

Anyways, I went for another caesarean the other night!!! :D

Well, honestly when Darrel who was supposed to be back at 8pm called me at 12am to ask if I'd like to follow him for a caesar... I was a bit reluctant cuz I was thinking which FAT dog who have been whelping for at least 4 hours now need a ceasar again after?!!?

I mean - I have seen dogs in Malaysia who give birth like CRAZY beside the road... U name it -> they've done it without a problem before...

and now this 'princess' needs THAT much help!

Anyways, since it was late I thought I'd follow along - maybe to drive Darrel back when he's done...

Well... the couple - they were VERY emotional (the wife at least) - I seriously got first hand experience how MUCH people LOVE their animals here...

So this is the pup that I helped revive!! :D
That poor thing was stuck in there for nearly 24 HOURS!!

I've only watched the way people revive pups on the Disney Cartoon -> 101 Dalmatians! :p
But doing it in person IS REALLY QUITE EXCITING!!! *hehe*

Sadly, some of them didn't make it :( but at least 7 out of 12 did :D
Here are some pics of the pups (and yar... I guess the most fun part in the whole 3 hour surgery is playing with the pups)

And here's the Doctor at work :p

*sigh* The trip there was really worth it :)
But seriously - dogs here ought to learn how to give birth on their own!

Oooo... Did I mention - We got ourselves a new toy???
*hehe* and NOPE Crumble's NOT it...

Broken Strings

2008-11-24T16:32:00.006+11:00

broken strings - james morrison ft. nelly furtado

I have ALWAYS LOVED James Morrison and have ALWAYS LOVED Nelly Furtado!!!

Put them together?

And as expected... They sound AMAZING!! :D

Oh-SOooo-EMO... BUT still amazing :)

It's Over

2008-11-22T17:47:00.006+11:00

Its Over (Official Music Video) - Jesse McCartney

Just an update - I have miraculously moved ALL my things to Melbourne yesterday... and just to describe how tiring that was -> I SLEPT the ENTIRE 11 hours drive!!! as in I got up ONLY for meals and toilet breaks and then continued sleeping... *haha*

SO TERRIBLE - I KNOW!

Anyways, I miss Sydney already - the weather especially!

see, when I left Sydney, it was a good 27 degrees I think... and NOW?

well, when we arrived last night at 10pm (note: I was sleeping right?)
So when I got up to help unload the car, just when I opened the car door -> I started SHIVERING!

What the HECK! It was only 9 degrees here!!!

the worst part was I couldn't find any of my winter clothing cuz I've packed them up LONG LONG time ago!!!! :(

Thankfully, Darrel and I went on this crazy shopping spree before we left to buy MATCHING Sydney Uni Jumpers!! *haha* Well, last night I was SO HAPPY I bought them before I left - cuz SERIOUSLY I have NO idea where in the world did I pack all my warm clothing dy...

and TODAY? the weather is SO BAD - it's like HAILING!
Seriously! It has been hailing NON STOP - as in it'll be warm for a bit, then COLD mostly then out of the blue it would start hailing! :S

So strange huh? Out of my 3 years in Sydney - I only remember it hailing ONCE!!!

But anyways,
I have already started feeling at home (despite the weather :p)
Well, it is REALLY nice to sleep in here :D and the food's great too...

To all the people that I didn't get to say a proper goodbye to, I am REALLY REALLY sorry!!! It is mainly due to my VERY VERY bad time management! :( as in I literally was packing till 5am on Friday morning and we were suppose to start driving before 8am -> it didn't happen though (mostly thanks to me *haha*) and yar, we only left around 11am I think :p

BUT - I had CAMPOS before I left!!!! :D :D :D

Anyways, I should be busy getting things done for the BIG day soon :(
and... hopefully my time management skills would miraculously improve within this ONE MONTH!

Your Call

2008-11-19T01:22:00.016+11:00

Your Call by Secondhand Serenade - Alvin and the punk rock Chipmunks

Last Sunday was my LAST Sunday helping out at Cubby House @ Hillsong Church where for two hours every Sunday afternoon from 11am to 1pm, those beautiful kids ages 1 - 3 would never fail to brighten up my week ahead.

So when I stepped in those familiar doors on Sunday - I couldn't help but feel this REALLY heavy sense of dread - I guess mostly due to the fact that I know most probably I would NEVER get see kids again...

I still remember the first kid who stole my heart :) *haha*

His name was Joshua... I can't remember much of him - nor did I ever see him again after that week... It was almost as if he came that day for that one purpose and that is to get me hooked on Cubby House...

I remember him as this TINY Fragile boy... I've helped out at children church in FGA KL before - but they were always much OLDER - in primary school mostly... and so that was my FIRST time ever caring for such a young kid - I mean I grew up in a large family and have always grew up with kids but this is different - this was this amazingly ADORABLE BEAUTIFUL blonde 1 year old boy who was the SWEESTEST!!!

I remember vividly playing with him through out that 2 hour service and when his parent's came, right before they left - he turned around and gave a hug and the MOST sloppy kiss on the check and his mom made him say 'TA' (which is an aussie way of saying thankyou) where by at that time - I had absolutely NO IDEA what the heck TA was! *haha*

The following week I went to check out an older age group - from 3 - 5 years but the kids SO HYPER!!! and through out the service I was so LOST - I kept thinking about Joshua and how angelic he was and I MISSED HIM - so half way tru... I LEFT 'The Ark' and NEVER LEFT Cubby House since :)

Well, sadly as I told you, I never saw Joshua again... but that week I made new friend - JEREMY! He's was platinum blonde Hyper kid - Not like SWEET ANGELIC Joshua... He was running around everywhere... but he was OH SO CUTE!!! I guess I remember Jeremy cuz he was the FIRST kid that almost got me in trouble... He was running around so much and at that time there used to be this plastic toy house... Jeremy being the boy he is - climbed everywhere and as expected - he fell and cut himself (really close to his eye)...

Surprisingly he was pretty strong cuz after a while he stopped crying and I thought all was good :) but I WAS SO WRONG!

cuz when his mom came to pick him up after church - the first thing she asked was who was taking care of Jeremy and what happened to his eye!!! I was TERRIFIED!!! I have never got grilled like that from a mother before - but I guess it opened my eyes to the western culture :) and I learned the hard way on what I should have done when accidents happen!

Later on, I found out that his parents were going through a divorce and I remember feeling bad for Jeremy - he was the only child and he was such a beautiful child! He was literally like those DOLLS u pick up from the toy shelf... and although he was all over the place - he found his way to this special place in my heart too :) and my heart broke knowing what was going on in his world and I remember praying he would grow up to be that beautiful amazing man he was called to be...

His mom took him to another service soon after (out of fear that his dad would secretly pick him up from Cubby House when his mom was at service) and I never got to see him after that... Not until last year I think, or maybe this year... when I got to see that familiar platinum blonde hair and bright blue eyes... He is still beautiful and I remember the first thought that went through my head was - 'my gosh! He TALKS NOW!' *haha*

*sigh* kids do grow up too quickly...

Along the way there were many other kids... Sebastian - this spanish kid with curly black locks, Josiah was the class sweetheart... and Ezra was another... then there are the newer kids - Ethan and Jared, oooo... and who could forget Bryn :)

YEP, I do somehow have a soft spot for boys *haha* I guess I have to blame it on only having ONE brother :)

So Sunday, I was trying to soak everything up - trying my best to take a mental picture of Cubby House so that maybe, somehow I'd be able to remember and preserve my emotions, my thoughts - basically the MOMENT...

but 1 o'clock came by way too fast... :'(

and soon I found myself packing up the toys while waiting for parents to pick their children up. Suddenly, I was distracted by 2 boys asking for my help cuz they wanted to get into this cushion tube thing...

after helping them and playing with them a bit only did I realise that one of the boys was actually SEBASTIAN!! He is all grown up now! His locks are ALL gone!!! *sigh* but fortunately, those big brown eyes of his are still the same...

then, there was this tap on my leg... I turned and saw the BIGGEST grin I have ever seen...
I couldn't remember who that familar face was for the longest time... and only after a while did I manage to say 'OH my goodness EZRA! What happened to your hair??' and I really didn't mean it in the bad way - it's just that he used to have the coolest softest curls :) and they were all gone - he only had a tail left... with this really cool spider web thing shaved on the side of his head - of which he told me it was his dad who did it for him :)

Ezra has to be the HAPPIEST kid I have ever taken care of! He is always smiling and always happy and sweet and obedient! He is the BEST ever! and sadly he grew up WAY too fast... I would give anything to keep him in Cubby House :)

I remember being really sad knowing that he'd be leaving Cubby house after his 3rd birthday... but ya it was such a pleasant surprise seeing him again after such a long time...

See I have NEVER expected kids that age to remember who I am... I mean how much can a 3 year old remember right? Well that's what I thought... I thought I'd go there and bless the kids as much as I can - Cuz it was Jeremy who made me realise that some of these LITTLE Kid's worlds are falling apart as well (even at such a young age)... So if all I could do is to show them a lil bit of what LOVE means - then I'd do it the best that I can... so maybe when they grow up they'd learn to believe in LOVE too...

But on Sunday, Ezra showed me something so different...

See I turned and saw this cheeky kid with the biggest grin - and out of the corner of his smile... he mumbled 'Do you remember me?'

Which means -> He REMEMBERED ME!!! This 4 year old kid REMEMBERED ME!!!! :) I was SO touched!

So we played a bit before I left... and he's still so sweet despite being all grown up now...

When I told him that I had to go - he looked up (we were playing this pasta-cereal-sand-box thingy) and said:

'Will you come back and see me later?'

and at that moment, my heart MELTED! I WISH I could say yes! I wished it wasn't my last week... and yet I couldn't let him know nor lie...

'We'll See :)' was the only thing I could say in return...

Through Ezra - I learned something new on Sunday...
See I LOVE serving kids cuz I always feel they have that 'something' that grown ups loose every single day when they grow up - whether it is the stress - the demanding necessity to not only just make it in this world but to SUCCEED, or plainly just GREED!

but these children... They are contented! All they want in that couple of hours is to PLAY - to EAT and want their mummies and daddies to pick them up and take them to lunch after that :)

We on the other hand, we always strive for more... we are NEVER truly thankful for what we have as there is always this other person who has got it better and we want that too... Hence, we end up carrying the weight of the world while trying so hard to make it...

I LOVE watching these children play - without a care in the world... they play, they dance, they laugh, they LOVE... and for that couple of hours I get to be that too...

They have taught me so much and they have blessed me so much indeed... See I miss that sometimes - Miss being young and having that child-like FAITH - Their world is SO simple - it is protected, it is NOT tainted or stained... People in their world are black and white - you are either good or evil (not in between)... They sincerely believe there IS such a thing as living happily ever after, and there IS such a thing as meeting your Prince Charming... They do not judge people nor discriminate - their world is not complicated... They befriend others so easily and forgive in a second when others are in the wrong. They don't know bitterness nor jealousy. They look at the world with such curiosity and find beauty in the simplest of things... They have no regrets and have SO much to look forward to... Their life is FULL of purpose, endless possibilities, JOY, HOPE and PEACE... And They have BIG DREAMS to be someone GREAT someday...

Why do we loose all that when we grow up?

So to EZRA NEAL,
Thank you for reminding me that IT MATTERS - for reminding me that I don't get to see the big picture most of the time but it IS still a seed sown... Thank you for showing me such sincere gratitude... and for being such a blessing to me the last 3 years...

I pray that you will grow up to be the amazing man you are called to be. I pray you'll walk close with the LORD and NEVER stop loving and laughing with that amazingly God given smile of yours and brighten up this dark world of ours.

I pray that on the day we DO meet again - be it heaven or earth... I want to hear all the amazing stories of how great your life has been and all the great things you have done... I pray you WILL live life to the fullest and will LIVE according to your calling and REACH millions + change lives...

I know you'll be great someday and can't wait for the day I FINALLY get to see you again... and Till then - I will be missing that sweet smile of yours :)

Ps. you too have found your way in that special place in my heart :)

Lots of LOVE,

Nydia

Finally, I have to apologise for this long post and the chipmunk version of Secondhand Serenade - it just felt appropriate cuz it is the cutest! :)

Halo

2008-11-16T00:57:00.006+11:00

Halo - Beyoncé

This REALLY funny thing happen the other night :p haha... seriously these things can only be possible with Nydia -> so I'm gonna bring you on this short trip to what went on in my head on THURDAY night...

...

zzZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzz...

...

...

...

...

(for some strange reason - I got up and stared at this clock of mine on the wall)

'7 o'clock'

...

...

'ugh... Really don't feel like waking up now lar...'

(so I turned over and thought I'd wake up when my alarm rings at 7:30...)

...

...

'WAIT!!!! It's 7???'

'Like 7am???'

...

...

...

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

'How in the world????'

'WHAT the heck????'

'Oh my goodness!!!!'

'@$%$%@@!# I have an exam in like 2 hours and I haven't studied ANYTHING yet!'

'How COULD I POSSIBLY sleep past my THREE alarms??'

'HUH? Is it possible to oversleep for 12 hours and not even realise it??'

'WOW I must be REALLY tired!'

'WAIT!!! DARREL!!! how could he ALSO forget to wake me up???'

'Huh?? unless I slept PAST that too??'

'NO WAY!!!!!!'

'I'm so dead!!! I'll have to REPEAT this next year for SURE!!'

'GOD!!! How could u forget that I still have one more paper??'

'ADUHAI!!! This has to be the worst EVER!!!'

'!@#@!$#%$#%#... HOW?? HOW?? HOW??'

...

...

...

...

'Wait!!! Maybe I should check what time it REALLY is...'

'YAR... maybe that FAT clock died...'

(stumbled blindly to my computer - being really BLIND I could only make it out to be REALLY 7 o'clock)

...

(STONNING)

...

...

'CRAP lar!!! HOW NOW??? This time I'm gonna FAIL for sure!!!'

'Even IF I was like SOME super genius - I OSO can't study EVERYTHING in ONE FAT HOUR!!!!'

'and Huilyn is coming at 8.15!!!'

'CRAP!!!!!!'

...

...

...

(AFTER what seem like a REALLY REALLY long time)

...

'Wait... Ok!!! Calm down... What date is it today? Maybe I am dreaming...'

'Ok... My exam is on the - 14th... and... Currently it is...'

(still squinting trying to see the small date on my computer screen)

...

...

'YESS!!!!! It is the 13th!!!! I am STILL ALIVE!!!!!'

'Oh my goodnesS!!'

'WHAT the HECK!!!'

'How in the world???'

...

...

...

'Walao - that was so SCARY weih!!!'

...

...

'Maybe I should lie down...'

(BAD IDEA)

'*ish* Why in the WORLD I didn't check the time on my phone just now?'

...

...

...

'BODOH!'

...

ZzzzZZZZZzzzzz

...

(Btw, I only got up at 8pm that evening - miraculously had enough time to study as much as I could - HOPEFULLY, I really won't have to see myself back here again next year...)

So ya!!! Lesson of the year -> Being BLIND and BLUR (who ALSO sleeps ALOT and VERY soundly = cannot be a good thing)

*haha*

Don't you HATE it how 7am and 7pm looks EXACTLY the same indoors - when the blinds are down?

Cis!!!

What an experience!

Long Time Coming

2008-11-10T19:00:00.013+11:00

Long Time Coming - Oliver James

Last night I called my parents - I usually talk to them at least once a week... It's always nice to hear that familiar voice... I guess I have always found comfort knowing that someone is praying for me - well in my case... this time, they got everyone they know to pray for me and my finals... and *smiles* I LOVE THEM for that!

So during that short half an hour conversation (usually it can go up to an hour... maybe more), somehow I found myself telling my dad this miraculous story about my week - about this assignment of mine... and He told me something that I thought was so interesting...

'Write it down! Pen those stories down... cuz if not in time u'll forget how gracious God has been to you these 3 years...'

I think we've all established the fact that NOPE - I have NEVER been a good writer... YES I talk A LOT but NO I don't write very well... But I think I wanna challenge myself this time around... That I will NOT keep all these miraculous testimonies to myself... In that little pink diary of mine... :)

I have always LOVED telling stories... and I have ALWAYS believed in the power of stories... LOVED hearing them, loved reading them... so maybe writing stories and telling them to people are actually very similar!

So I will try (can't promise it'll happen) but I'll try to pen down how good God has been to me :) Personally... I RESPECT people having different faiths (I REALLY DO and I could NEVER dream of forcing what I believe in down someone's throat)

But I think I've tried fitting in this world for too long now... See, today I watch this OLD movie 'What a girl wants' and this quote HIT ME!

'Why are you trying so hard to fit in when u were born to stand out?'

So I have decided... I don't really care if people started arguing on the existence of God and religion - which one is the right one and which isn't...

These are MY STORIES and what I believe... :)
I believe in Life! in Living LIFE to the fullest... and for me to do that -> I NEED to believe that miracles ARE REAL... and there is HOPE and LOVE and HAPPINESS still left for people in this world to believe in :)

So ya! I've always thought Albert Einstein was a wise man...

'There are only two ways to live your life
One is as though nothing is a miracle
The other is as though EVERYTHING is a miracle'

And I think... I'd want to LIVE like the latter... :D

The Show

2008-11-09T23:16:00.005+11:00

The Show - Lenka

I can't seem to get this song out of my head - it is REALLY the cutest :)

So yar... cuz of my exams ~ I have started listening to random songs like these...

I have also started my Christmas countdown!!! I am so excited! This would be the first time in what feels like a long long time that my family is spending Christmas all together :)
so yeS! 'Joy to the world' has somehow found its way into my music playlist...

Ps. U know your computer is DYING when it is not compatible with internet explorer any more :(

'I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show'

These are the days

2008-11-07T21:46:00.009+11:00

These Are The Days - V Factory

These are the days...
I will ALWAYS treasure...

Pic from our engagement shoot on Monday...
I absolutely ADORE Jenny's work...

Is it terrible that I still have that occasional 'thing' for the good-ol'-boy-band-POP songs?

Ps. btw, in case u are wondering - most of the songs I post are absolutely random - I am currently NEITHER lonely, emo nor have I recently broken up with someone!

*haha*
Sometimes... I dont even know why I listen to them... But,

This time - I guess I get to blame it on the academia blues *keke*

:)

Mad

2008-11-05T02:03:00.008+11:00

Mad - Ne-Yo

I'll miss...

The most amazing church I call home these last 3 years - Hillsong Church
The beautiful kids that brighten up my week EVERY Sunday morning - without fail!
The most selfless people I have met serving at Hillsong Campus
The ugliest building in Sydney Uni where I have 80% of my classes in - Mereweather
The most worn-down-going-to-fall-apart house I've ever stayed in
The craziest-friendliest people I've met in commerce who have made my 3 years so much more fun
The most beautiful city in Australia - with the beautiful view of Darlene Harbour :) and the Opera House
The oh-so-beautiful WEATHER here *sigh*
The crazy ambulance and police sirens we hear so often during weekends
The last minute rushing of assignments with group mates who make the painful assignments so so much better
The most amazing Powerbreak members that have blessed me so much this year
The BEST coffee EVER - at Campos!
The weekly Grocery shopping :) and discount hunting
The very random SUSHI nights!!!
The purple flower tree in my backyard - that has been my only view these last 3 years
The amazing lives I have been so blessed to cross paths with
The crazy bird who sings everyday at 5am - to let me know that maybe it's time to sleep
The stupid oven that burns EVERYTHING + the very sensitive fire alarm
The most considerate house mates I have had the last 3 years
Lastly, I know someday - maybe not now -> I will miss these LATE nights studying for my finals *haha*

*sigh*

I can't believe this phase is coming to an end so soon...